Some Clarification Please…

Dear Connie…

Okay, so I know that at the end of yesterday’s post, I said that I would go into a little more detail about the so-called “reparative therapy” that I tried to “straighten” myself out. I am still trying to put that experience into perspective so that I could relate it to you. I will tell you however, it wasn’t through one of those “formal” programs (i.e Exodus International) but rather through a priest that I new in a neighboring town.

Anyway, while thinking of that experience (and thankfully NO it wasn’t extreme), I remembered that I had saved a letter that was circulating around the ‘Net a while back. It has helped me deal with some of the more religious people that I know when they start quoting the bible to me about the abomination of homosexuality. Although these people who have brought up the topic don’t know that I am gay, they nevertheless feel that they have to “spread the word” so to speak by showing how truly righteous they are.

As I have said in previous postings, several members of my family are “out”, so when the discussion comes up about my family members and these god fearing, bible thumping, hate the sin, but love the sinner type of people start preaching hell and damnation to me I hit them up with some of the comments from the following letter from “Chad to Connie”. I can’t wait until the day when they learn about me and I then then give them a run for their money!

As a side note, if ANYONE knows the original author/source of the following “letter”, please let me know so I can give proper credit to whomever it’s due.

“Dear Connie:

I agree with you 100%. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God’s Law and how to follow them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors they claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offence.

4. Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations; a friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. The passage clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? – Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging. Chad”

Ciao!

K

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About Kevin

I am 58 and I have finally decided to open the closet door and venture out.
This entry was posted in A**Holes, Coming Out, Humor, Musings, Religion, Self Discovery, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Some Clarification Please…

  1. dirkmancuso says:

    Oh, you lil scamp – you know how Christians hate to have the word of God “twisted” to suit the homosexual “agenda.”

  2. Jamie says:

    The author of that piece remains unknown. You can find out more about it, though, at http://www.snopes.com/politics/religion/drlaura.asp . I saw the President on the West Wing reciting it, and I’ve seen the “Letter to Dr. Laura” version as well.

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